How common is sexual assault, dating and domestic violence, and stalking?

More than 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have experienced sexual violence involving physical contact in their lifetime. Over 1 in 3 women and just under 1 in 4 men will experience intimate partner violence. Likewise, 1 in 6 women and 1 in 17 men have been stalked at some point in their lifetime. For both men and women, sexual assault, dating and domestic violence, and stalking first occurs before the age of 25.

What do I do if I think someone is in an abusive or toxic relationship?

If you think that a friend or someone you know is in an abusive or unhealthy relationship, it can be difficult to know what to do. You may want to help, but be scared to lose them as a friend or feel as though it is not your place to step in. All of these feelings are normal. For more information, check out the One Love Foundation (https://www.joinonelove.org/learn/help_a_friend/)

Here are a few tips to help you talk to your friend:

  • Calmly start a conversation on a positive note
  • Be supportive
  • Focus on the unhealthy behaviors
  • Keep the conversation friendly, not preachy
  • Don’t place the blame on your friend
  • Allow your friend to make their own decision
  • Offer solutions to your friend
  • Expect more conversations in the future
  • Seek help and support for yourself from a confidential resource.

How do I help a friend who is LGBTQIA+ who has experienced harm?

Keep in mind all of the above, as well as these tips below:

  • Remind the person that their identity is valid
  • Identify or situation is never an excuse for abusive behavior
  • Encourage them to seek out LGBTQ+ specific resources
  • Remember that law enforcement may not be the best option
  • Try to be a consistent support system.

How is Hill SPEAK different from Title IX?

Both Title IX and the grant exist for the prevention and response to violence. Title IX focuses on equitable access to education and discrimination based on sex. Hill SPEAK operates from a social justice background that encourages culture change through education and awareness programming.

How can I request a program for myself or my student organization?

Email Emilee Truitt or Hill SPEAK at etruitt@shc.edu or hillspeak@shc.edu

Definitions

Sexual Assault

Any type of sexual contact, touching or behavior that happens without consent of the recipient.

Dating and Domestic Violence

Abusive behavior one person in a relationship uses in order to obtain power and control over the other. It can be physical, sexual, mental, financial, or emotional.

Stalking

Stalking is a pattern of behavior that makes someone feel afraid, nervous, harassed, or in danger. It is when someone repeatedly makes contact, follows, sends things, or calls when it is not wanted.

Bystander

Anyone in the community who sees or hears about a behavior that could lead to something high risk or harmful. Every bystander faces the same choice: “Do I get involved and try to make things better? Or do I ignore the situation?”

Proactive Bystander Intervention

  • Small, daily choices we make to communicate two new norms to the people in our spheres of influence:
  • Violence is not okay and will not be tolerated
  • Everyone needs to do their part to help

Reactive Bystander Intervention

  • Direct – check in yourself with person being harmed or person doing the harm
  • Delegate – get someone else to intervene
  • Distract – create a diversion to defuse the situation
  • Delay – check in with the person being harmed at a later time to see if they are ok.
  • Document – if someone is already helping the person, and you are safe, document the incident.

Consent

An affirmative, conscious decision by each participant to engage in mutually agreed-upon sexual activity.
The following must occur:

  • Consists of mutually understandable communication
  • Informed and reciprocal
  • Freely and actively given
  • Not unlimited
  • Not indefinite

Consent can not be given by individuals who are underage, under pressure or intimidation or threat, intoxicated or incapacitaged by drugs or alcohol, or asleep or unconscious. Unequal power dynamics, such as engaging in sexual activity with an employee or student, means that consent cannot be freely given. Consent must be given for every type of activity every time. Consent can be withdrawn at any point if you feel uncomfortable.

This project was supported by Grant No. 2020-WA-AX-003 awarded by the Office on Violence Against Women, U.S. Department of Justice. The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this publications/program/exhibition are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Department of Justice, Office on Violence Against Women.

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